Some of you may or may not know that Jack was born via C-section. I don’t think that I have ever shared my story about it, besides touching on it a little in my birth story post (HERE), but I never shared the whole experience. Since April is Cesarean Awareness Month, I felt like it was the perfect time to open up about my experience with my C-section. It’s something that I’m not 100% comfortable sharing for all to read, but I want to share my story because 3 years ago as I recovered and got to know my newborn son, I was feeling very alone. I hope that in telling my story, it might bring some comfort to another new mom going through the same thing.
My labor with Jack started when my water broke 11 days before his due date. After not truly believing that I was in labor, I decided to hold off on going to the hospital until I started contractions. (Bad idea, don’t do this, but what can I say, I was a first-time mom.) My contractions started about 3 hours after my water broke and that’s when my husband and I headed to the hospital. I remember that drive to the hospital being extremely painful. It was something out of the movies. The contractions were strong and painful as soon as they started, and when I got to the hospital I learned that my labor was progressing very quickly. I was happy to hear that I could have an epidural as soon as they finished my blood work. It all seemed to go very quickly and before I knew it I was sitting comfortably with an epidural going through labor and waiting for my baby to arrive.
Finally, the nurse said it was time to start pushing. It started off slowly, but it started to get very intense after about an hour or so. No matter how hard I pushed, the baby was not coming down at all. It was so frustrating. The nurse had turned off my epidural, so I felt every contraction. After 3 hours of pushing, the nurse called my doctor and he said that the best option would for me to have a C-section. My other options were to possibly use a vacuum to help get the baby out, which all seemed very scary and traumatic for me and the baby. I didn’t want to have a c-section. I wanted a natural birth. I wanted to be the first person to hold my baby. I had this idea in my mind of what it would be like when the baby came out and c-section was not in that plan. I was also exhausted from pushing and in a lot of pain, so I took the doctor’s advice and went with the c-section. I was scared, but at the same time I was in so much pain, I barely thought about the whole idea of being cut open when I was awake.
I remember shaking uncontrollably on the table. The nurse told me that was normal and it was because of all the pushing. I was scared, but I just focused on my husband’s eyes. The nurses had him sitting across the room from me, I didn’t know why. I wanted him close to me, but looking at him just helped me stay calm and distract myself from the fact that I was being cut open while I was still awake. When I saw tears in his eyes I knew Jack was out. Then I heard the sweetest little cry ever. It comforted me to hear Jack and hear everyone in the room telling us what a beautiful baby he was. Finally, the nurse brought him over to me and we just looked at each other. I was too scared to move my arms so I just kissed him and told him I loved him. Kevin snapped this picture below of us which is one of my favorite pictures ever.